Becoming Afraid of Heights
by Jackilyn Hughes
Summary: The first time they fight, the first time it rains, and the first time an Angel feels there's better company to be had with a Demon than with his fellows. -I took a few liberties with names.-


Aziraphale remembered the day (1) very well. It had started out perfectly normal, as all the other days had. There was something different, but you had to be really in tune with _all_ of your fellow angels to feel it (2). The situation only took seconds to unfold, and Aziraphale found himself holding a sword and being told to fight for Heaven against Heaven.

He refused to kill any of his fellows; he just disarmed them and destroyed their weapons. He saw Lucifer and God fighting each other directly. It was a pity, Aziraphale remembered thinking at the time, he'd liked Lucifer. And Aziraphale didn't know if he could stomach seeing the Bringer of Light suffer whatever Punishment was awaiting him.

Aziraphale saw his friends fighting. He didn't know which side they were on. Honestly, he didn't know which side _he_ was on - he didn't know which side was which.

Just as quickly as the fighting started, it stopped. At the center of all of Heaven, and of all the angels there, bleeding and panting and hoping their side had one, was Lucifer. He was kneeling before God, but he still looked just as defiant and powerful as he had when he'd been fighting. Aziraphale felt guilty to realize the Morning Star had never been more beautiful than now, with fire in his eyes.

"This must be Punished," God said. All the angels turned to Him and listened (3). He was standing there, just as beautiful as the angel at his feet, but with no fire, and with Michael and Loki just behind him again. Silently (4), God stepped away from Lucifer and closed his eyes.

Suddenly, the clouds beneath the feet of the angels on Lucifer's side disappeared, crumbling so that there were sections of the weightless floor of Heaven in the sky. There were screams as angels fell, and some grabbed reflexively at what they were falling from, making the spots left under God's angels irregularly shaped.

Aziraphale whirled around, watching every angel that fell through each hole in the Heavens, looking for his friends. He caught glimpse of most of them, still standing in the sky, thankfully. But Aziraphale's _best_ friend (5) was rushing toward one of the growing chasms in the clouds.

"Aingeru!" Isaac (6) was shouting desperately into the hole, reaching down to another angel, who no doubt had fallen. Aziraphale knew Aingeru was one of Isaac's friends, though Aingeru wasn't really one of his. He was going to turn away again to look for the rest of his friends to make sure they were still in Heaven with him, but then the clouds warped and Isaac fell after Aingeru with a surprised shout and wide eyes.

Azirapahle ran as fast as he was angelically capable and dropped to his knees at the edge of the hole Isaac had fallen from after his friend. He screamed his friend's name desperately into the blank expanse of sky, but Aziraphale couldn't even see Isaac's shadow he'd fallen so fast.

For the first time ever, tears rolled slowly down an angel's face (7) as Aziraphale pleaded for his friend to fly back up to Heaven.

"We learn from our mistakes." The words were whispered into his ear, almost inaudible, but Aziraphale knew who they came from. He looked up at his Creator and did not smile. Aziraphale looked up at his Creator and did not glow with love. His heart hurt too much to glow with anything. God touched his shoulder. "Maybe someday, he'll be redeemed." And the Creator left, and for the first time ever, an angel was glad to see Him go.

+

Lucifer's angels were soon Forgotten, as part as their Punishment. Their names were taken, and their old selves left behind in the past. They were cast into new shapes, they were made into new beings, and there was a new part made to God's angels' hearts - a part to Hate Lucifer's angels. The only beings in existence they could Hate. God called them demons.

It was in those days that Aziraphale learned how to sleep. He slept because it gave him dreams. And he dreamt of Isaac. Not Galadriel, as he was now called, not the Serpent, nor the Tempter, nor his new nickname, Crawly. No, Aziraphale dreamt of Isaac.

It was when Aziraphale was stationed to guard the East Gate of Eden when he met his best friend again. Isaac was only slightly different. Better now, Aziraphale thought, that he had no rules to follow.

Aziraphale smiled and, glowing, called him Crawly.

(1)They weren't really days since there was no sun and no moon and nobody slept, but Aziraphale had to separate that period of time from the rest of it or he'd never be able to bleep it out of his thoughts.

(2)Aziraphale was _not_ really in tune with many of his fellow angels, only a few, so he did not feel it. He did have sense enough to get suspicious, though, when the Lord Almighty Himself came out from his room with Michael at one hand and Loki at the other.

(3)They had no choice. If you were an angel, and God spoke, you _had_ to listen to him, actively too. It was possible to ignore the Metatron; in fact it was done quite often. He wasn't really as glorious as he thought he was.

(4)Strange as it was, it always seemed that God's silences always called to them more attention than His words, and every angel leaned in, straining their ears, waiting to hear what this Punishment would be.

(5)Even though, technically, Aziraphale wasn't allowed to love any one friend more than another, but he still did anyway.

(6)Isaac was Aziraphale's best friend's name, and he thought it was one of the most beautiful angels' names he'd ever heard.

(7) This was technically the first time it ever rained, but Aziraphale took no pride in having given God the idea.

+ 


End file.
